Perspective. It has the power to make or break a day, month, year, even a lifetime. It’s something I’ve been battling with for months.
Life seems to pass faster with each year. At 24, I often feel like I should have it all figured out. The society we live in is constantly pressuring us to do more, want more, and be more. And while I think it’s great to strive for more, I also think there’s such beauty in being at peace exactly where you are.
For the past year, my thoughts have been anywhere but in the present moment. I’m a planner by nature and crave certainty more than most. I’m slowly learning that even when things seem certain, they never really are.
I’m putting blinders up this year, and not letting myself think or plan past December 2019. Instead of giving into the pressures of society and worrying about my next job, my five-year plan, or whether or not I’m stacking up to society’s expectations, I’m choosing to use that energy to live fully in 2019.
That’s where the change in perspective comes in. In order fore me to be truly present, I’ve had to re-frame thoughts and challenge perspectives.
- HAVING IT ALL FIGURED OUT: This has been by far the toughest to re-frame, and something I’m still working on everyday. I, like many, have told myself I should have it all figured out by now. What I want to do with my life, how I want it to look, and how I’m going to make it happen. But truth is, I don’t know exactly what I want. I don’t know if my current career path is the one I’ll be in for the next 30 years. I don’t know a lot. And I’m learning that’s OK. Instead of constantly searching for the non-existent answers I’m focusing on what fulfills me now and trusting it will all work out.
- DISTANCE: Joe and I live two hours apart. We see each other most weeks, but it always requires one of us driving four hours round trip. To top it off, I work on the weekends. We have limited time together. I used to focus on all the time we were missing out on, instead of the time we did get together. He’s the one who has taught me to view this and much of life differently, and for that I’m so grateful. In re-framing that mindset I’ve realized how lucky I am have someone I want to spend more time with. At this stage in our lives, distance is our reality, and I’d take one day a month vs. no time any day. Since realizing that, the time we do have together seems all the more precious.
- MONEY: I don’t make a lot of it. I used to compare myself to my friends who were making far more right out of college and wonder what I did wrong. I still babysit part-time to pay my bills. I spent a long time feeling sorry for and angry with myself for not making a certain amount. The change in mindset – I have a job. I can pay my bills, live in a beautiful place, and I never go hungry. I have enough for extras here and there. That’s a whole lot more than most and for that I should be grateful.
It isn’t easy, but re-framing certain negative mindsets has the ability to change everything else in your life. I find I’m more positive and more present, and I’ll take that over worrying about things beyond my control any day.